Convene the committee of misplaced objects

These items keep ending up in the wrong place: [ITEMS]. Their actual storage options are [PLACES]. Write a short fictional committee meeting in which each item argues for a home using one true practical requirement and one absurd demand. Then separate fiction from a usable placement plan with one return cue per item. Do not invent room dimensions or storage I did not list. Keep the scene under 250 words and the plan under 100. Check that no item is assigned to two places and that access or safety needs take precedence over the joke.